Oh Grow Up! Dealing with Childish Employee Behavior in Four Steps

Whining, pouting, crying, and throwing temper tantrums are no longer behaviors confined to elementary school playgrounds or reality television show reunions. Such childishness is also prevalent in today’s workplace. According to a CareerBuilder(1) survey, three in four employees (77%) have witnessed some type of childish behavior among colleagues in the workplace. The top 10 behaviors survey respondents said they have witnessed are whining, pouting, tattling, playing a prank, making a face behind someone’s back, forming a clique, starting a rumor, storming out of the room, throwing a tantrum, and refusing to share resources with others.

Are childish employee behaviors such as these on the rise in the workplace? CareerBuilder thinks so. So does White,(2) who suggests that the uptick in childishness is not surprising. White identifies two possible causes for the increase: (1) employees are working long hours, and sometimes when that happens, they need to blow off steam; and (2) the influx of millennials in the workplace may have ushered in a corresponding drop in maturity level, White says. (White admits that millennials themselves may take issue with this characterization.)

Of course, you signed on to be a medical practice manager, not a parent, babysitter, or preschool teacher. However, as Benjamin(3) says, “An employee who goofs off and disregards your instructions, then pouts, sulks, and acts sullen when things go wrong can make it seem like you’re managing an adolescent.” Immature employees are a headache for practice managers to deal with, Benjamin concedes. However, if childish employee behavior is left unchecked, it can have a significant effect on the bottom line of your medical practice. Any unprofessional behaviors, including childish ones, can negatively impact a practice’s productivity and reputation, Benjamin warns.

Losing your patience may make it tough for you to enjoy your job, and it may not change the behavior, at least not permanently.

It would be so understandable and easy for you to lose your patience with an adult who acts childishly. There are far better things for a medical practice manager to do than to play Mommy or Daddy to an employee who is acting like a two-year-old. But losing your patience may make it tough for you to enjoy your job, and it may not change the behavior, at least not permanently. Fortunately, there are better and more effective strategies that you can use. Below we explore four steps medical practice managers can take to get control of, improve, and put an end to childish employee behavior. Is it as simple as acting like the grownup in the room? That’s definitely part of it. But there’s more to it than that.

Step One: Don’t Encourage Childishness

The first thing you can do to discourage childish employee behavior is to take stock of your own behavior. Your employees will take their cue from you. If they see you pouting or rolling your eyes, there’s a good chance that they’ll do the same. Therefore, be sure that you model the mature behavior you would like them to have.

Some medical practices have well-intentioned personnel policies or follow management practices that can actually encourage employee childishness.

Also take a look at your policies and practices. Some medical practices have well-intentioned personnel policies or follow management practices that can actually encourage employee childishness. Hauck(4) identifies three of the worst to avoid:

1. Policies that scream “I don’t trust you”: Most employers establish personnel policies that send a subliminal message that “we can’t trust you to do the right things and so we must control your behaviors,” Hauck says. Such policies, especially the most stringent ones, can sometimes backfire by encouraging employees to behave more childishly, Hauck suggests. This is akin to the old adage, “When the cat’s away, the mice will play.” Childish behavior is most likely to occur in medical practices where a big, scary, and untrusting cat establishes personnel policies employees don’t like.

2. Teaching what you allow: Some managers find confrontational discussions difficult, so they avoid them. However, a manager’s unwillingness to confront childish behaviors teaches employees that it is OK for them to behave childishly. Hauck explains: Without feedback the “children” will repeat unwanted behaviors. Furthermore, ignoring the problem may either encourage others to behave childishly, too, or cause them to become demoralized. Managers need to be the grownup and to have the tough discussions when they are needed, Hauck says.

3. Carrying on a tradition: We’ve all been treated like what Hauck calls “childish victims” when we were schoolchildren. That’s why so many of us carry the tradition into adulthood. One might say, “Of course we treat students like children because they ARE children for much of their schooling,” Hauck admits. But the problem is that childish victims lack freedom of choice. Students have little choice in what they study, and they have little understanding about why they are studying it. This lack of freedom created a feeling of victimhood for many of us. We all need and want to have choices and to feel that we have control over our world, Hauck says. We need to have freedom to act on our own (within boundaries). “Even children need that feeling to boost their innovative playful tendencies,” Hauck says. Unfortunately, strict practice management policies that take away all semblance of employee choice and control may encourage childish behaviors, Hauck warns.

Step Two: Identify the Kind of Childish Behavior You’re Observing

As a next step, take a careful, objective look at the childish behavior you’re seeing. Then try to classify it. Doing so can help you understand the employee and her motivations better so you can identify the best tack to take with her.

Taylor’s(5) research has enabled her to classify the most common childlike workplace behaviors into six categories. Determine whether the employee exhibiting childish behavior fits into one or more of these behavior types:

• Self-oriented: Self-oriented behaviors suggest that the employee wants all the attention constantly on himself, much like a toddler who likes to be the center of attention and who insists that everyone watch him now. The concept of “team player” is usually lost on this type of employee. Employees who behave this way may not be willing to sacrifice much or anything for the good of another employee or of the team. If your practice were a movie, such an employee would the star. It’s always all about me, me, me.

• Stubborn: A stubborn employee sees no idea or solution other than hers. She won’t listen to others. This is much like a child who tries to stick the hippo puzzle piece into the giraffe-shaped hole over and over again, and gets angry when you offer the correct piece, Taylor says. Such an employee may not take your negative feedback kindly, and most likely won’t be a receptive listener.

• Overly demanding: We’ve all heard a child who gets louder and louder when his demands aren’t being met. In the workplace, the demanding employee sends emails in ALL CAPS, whines, pouts, and barks orders. Employees who behave this way are high maintenance and can consume a lot of your time.

• Interruptive: This type of employee won’t let you or anyone else complete a thought or task without bursting in. Everything has to be right now. This is much like the behavior of a child who charges into the room and starts talking no matter what you’re doing. Such an employee may have difficulty empathizing with others.

• Impulsive: We expect young children to act impulsively. However, we expect an adult to exhibit more self-control and to act more strategically. An impulsive employee acts without thinking through the consequences. Employees who behave this way often create a lot of trouble for themselves and for others.

• Tantrum-throwing: We’ve all observed toddlers who scream, stomp, throw themselves on the floor, and generally lose it when Mommy or Daddy won’t give them what they want. But we expect adults to be in better control of their emotions. A tantrum-throwing employee may be acting out because he never learned self-control. He may lash out because he feels, “because of you my life is miserable,” Taylor suggests. Such an employee is one others may fear and want to avoid, so as not to set him off.

Step Three: Answer These Six Questions

It can certainly be frustrating to have one or more employees who have the social skills of a young child. Therefore, when you encounter employee childishness, your first impulse may be to come down hard and squash it. But before you do that, White(2) suggests that first answer the following questions:

1. Does the behavior fit with your practice culture? Some workplace cultures have a higher tolerance than others for childish behaviors, such as pranks and whining. “You could find yourself swimming upstream if your expectations for workplace behavior aren’t in line with the way most employees behave,” White suggests.

2. Is it annoying just to you ? Is the problem habitual? Does it disrupt work? Are others annoyed by the behavior? If not, and the behavior is not dangerous, White suggests that it may be prudent to ignore it. Alternatively, you may want to explore ways that you can work around it, she says. A little bit of cleverness can help here. For example, changing seating at a meeting may eliminate the unwanted behavior without your having to take further action, White suggests.

3. Can you address it yourself? Going up the management ladder in your practice should be your last option, not your first, White says.

4. Is the behavior disruptive? If so, you’ll need to take action. (See the following section, “Step Four: Take Action: A 10-Step Method.”) You’ll also need to start documenting what you observe—the behavior; time, date, and duration; names of others present when the behavior occurred; complaints you’ve received; and the impact you’ve observed that the behavior has had on others and on your productivity.

5. Is the behavior harassment or bullying? If so, take immediate, clear, and firm action. According to Hills,(6) “Workplace bullying is blatant aggressive behavior.” Targets of bullying experience significant physical and mental health problems. Bullying can also be very costly to an employer. Take action to neutralize and overcome bullying behaviors as soon as you encounter them, Hills suggests.

6. Can anyone help you? Do you know another practice manager who you can talk to about the behavior you’re observing? Are you working with a coach or mentor? If you don’t know clearly whether or how you need to intervene, talk over what you’ve observed with a trusted and impartial peer or professional who is outside your practice and who can offer you helpful insights.

Step Four: Take Action: A 10-Step Method

Once you’ve done all you can to discourage employee childishness and you’ve identified the type of childish behavior you’re observing, it will be time for you to act. Here’s what to do:

1. Speak up if you feel that you must act in the moment. Sometimes it will be appropriate for you to wait for a moment in private with the employee who is behaving childishly, and not call him out in front of others. But at other times, the offense may be so disruptive or so egregious that it will require an immediate response from you. When you must take action, be clear, brief, and nonjudgmental. For example, Benjamin suggests that you say something like, “Save the practical jokes for your own time, please. It’s not appropriate for the workplace.” If you’re lucky, that will stop the behavior. But even if it doesn’t, the other members of your medical practice team will hear you and get the message that the childishness is not OK.

2. Meet one-on-one with the employee. Choose a private location and a time of day when you won’t be interrupted. If the employee was upset when she behaved childishly, wait until she has calmed down.

3. Identify and describe the unacceptable childish behavior that you have observed. Stick to the facts. Don’t use words such as childish, immature, melt-down, hissy-fit, or even tantrum, as they may get the employee’s hackles up. Don’t pass judgment.

4. Explain why the behavior is a problem for your medical practice. For example, you might say that the behavior can have (or has had) a negative effect on productivity, patient perception and trust, or the smooth functioning of your medical practice team.

5. Ask for the employee’s point of view. In some instances, an employee’s childish behavior may have been motivated by the best of intentions. For example, he may think that tattling is a good thing or that a practical joke helps to improve morale. Or he may believe the behavior is harmless, especially if he’s never been called out on it before. Discuss these points of view until you are both on the same page. As White suggests, “Sometimes it doesn’t dawn on people that they’re being a jerk or hurting others’ feelings until someone points it out to them.”

6. Give examples of the mature behavior you want and expect to see in your medical practice. As well, describe childish behaviors that cannot be tolerated.

7. Ask the employee to offer his or her suggestions on how to fix the problem. For example, you might ask her to suggest better ways for her to express anger or frustration. Or you might ask her to explore with you more appropriate ways to build morale. Benjamin suggests that you place the employee on a performance plan that incorporates your mutually agreed-upon goals for improvement.

8. State your specific expectations. If more than one employee is behaving childishly, put the topic on the agenda for a staff meeting. As Benjamin suggests, “Immature employees are more vulnerable to peer pressure and can be encouraged to act inappropriately by others.” Reduce the chances of seeing more immature behavior in your medical practice by creating, teaching, and enforcing consistent practice-wide standards, she says.

9. Tell the employee what will happen next. The immature employee who has demonstrated that he cannot act like an adult in the workplace will require more stringent monitoring and closer supervision to act appropriately, Benjamin says. Tell the employee what to expect. Also tell him specifically that the childish behavior must stop and how you are going to be involved to ensure that that happens. Also tell him that, ultimately, unacceptable behavior in your medical practice can put an employee in danger of discipline and even discharge.

10. Follow-up with the employee. Discuss the employee’s progress. Benjamin(3) suggests that you may be able to discontinue the closer supervision and formal performance plan once the employee consistently demonstrates appropriate mature behavior. However, you will need to implement further disciplinary action if the behavior continues, Benjamin says. As always in such cases, documentation will be your best friend.

References

1. 3 in 4 workers report adolescent behaviors in the workplace, according to new CareerBuilder survey. CareerBuilder. August 20, 2015. www.careerbuilder.com/share/aboutus/pressreleasesdetail.aspx?id=pr910&sd=8/20/2015&ed=08/20/2015 . Accessed July 24, 2017.

2. White MC. Think your co-workers act like children? You’re right. Money. August 20, 2015. http://time.com/money/4002595/workplace-immaturity-childish-behavior-study/ . Accessed July 24, 2017.

3. Benjamin T. How to handle immature behavior in an employee. Chron. http://smallbusiness.chron.com/handle-immature-behavior-employee-25459.html . Accessed July 24, 2017.

4. Hauck W. Why do employees behave like children? Optimum Leadership. September 30, 2011. https://wallyhauck.wordpress.com/2011/09/30/why-do-employees-behave/ . Accessed July 25, 2017.

5. Taylor L. Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons; 2009.

6. Hills L. What the medical practice employee needs to know about workplace bullying. J Med Pract Manage. 2012;27:295-299.

Managing a Boss Who Behaves Childishly

What can you do if it is your boss and not your direct report who is behaving childishly? Taylor(1) offers several suggestions as you navigate your way through this delicate and difficult challenge:

• Establish limits for what you will tolerate. Most medical practice managers don’t want to create an environment where everyone has to walk on eggshells around them. However, Taylor suggests that for the medical practice to be productive and for our own wellbeing, we must establish limits on the bad behavior we will tolerate—with our employees, with ourselves, and, if necessary, even with our bosses. Consider as objectively as you can the frequency of your boss’s childish behavior. A very rare or singular moment of childish behavior is one thing; a regular dose of it may be another. As well, consider the intensity of the behavior. An eye roll or pout may be something you can tolerate; a kicking-and-screaming tantrum is probably something you can’t.

• Be forthright. It may be tempting to stay as far away as possible from your boss when he or she acts childishly. However, it’s important for you not to avoid your boss when he is “in monster mode” or “on the war path,” Taylor says. Instead, try to identify the underlying reasons for your boss’s childish behavior. Then, figure out a strategy to manage that behavior. If need be, be prepared to speak up, difficult as that may be.

• Talk with your boss outside of the moment. Schedule a one-on-one meeting. Tell your boss that this kind of discussion can be difficult but that it means a lot to you to be able to talk with him or her about it. Describe the behavior you observed and how it made you (and others) feel. Use “I” statements, such as, “When you raised your voice at me this morning, I felt disrespected and very hurt.” See what he or she says next. Ask your boss if he or she is willing to change his or her behavior moving forward.

• Use positive and negative reinforcement. Tell your boss when you see him or her making a good effort to behave more maturely. Likewise, tell him or her when you see the behavior continuing.

• Don’t let your boss’s childishness consume you. If you are feeling that the situation is beyond your control, and especially if you feel that you are being bullied or harassed, do what you need to do to remove yourself from the behavior.

Reference

1. Taylor L. Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons; 2009.

Childish Behaviors: Bad for the Medical Practice, Bad for the Employee

An employee’s childish behaviors can become a problem for the medical practice. But it can also be what Ricker(1) calls a “red flag” in the employee’s career path. Among the specific childish behaviors that can have a negative impact on an employee’s chances of being promoted are:

• Negativity: A majority of employers say they are less likely to promote employees who have childish negative behaviors such as whining or pouting, Ricker says.

• Vulgar language: More than half of employers consider vulgar language an indication that an employee is “not ready for promotion,” Ricker says.

• Gossip: Ricker suggests that about half of employers would think twice before moving an employee who participates in office gossip up the ranks.

• Sloppiness: Employees who do not clean up after themselves can hurt their chances for a promotion in the eyes of more than one-third of employers, Ricker says.

Reference

1. Ricker S. Grow up: 10 bad habits that make you look immature at work.

   CareerBuilders. August 20, 2015. www.careerbuilder.com/advice/grow-up-10-bad-habits-at-work . Accessed July 26, 2017.