Wild Blue Yonder

A few of us in Foxtrot were crestfallen when the news hit that passing the PT test at the end of the eight weeks was a requirement for passing COT. I suddenly had to face the fact that after all this arduous work, I may be going home with no rank and no future in the military. My flight members approached me and the few others in our flight who were struggling and offered extra sessions after hours and on the weekend to practice running and other elements of the PT test. I readily accepted and joined my gallant crew, led by Lieutenant Wood. In my fervor, I strained my ankles and started high doses of anti-inflammatory medications around the clock and compressive bandages.

The day before the PT test, it took me close to twenty minutes to run 1.5 miles and the passing standard was fourteen minutes. I had failed. I was going to officially fail the next day. Only those who had not met the standards were required to show up for the test the next morning.

“Hey, Prakash. Do you want us to be there for moral support?” one of my flight members kindly asked.

“No,” I shook my head resignedly. “I don’t want you to see me fail.”

I cried myself to sleep that night and woke up the next morning at 04:00. Brush teeth, shower, t-shirt, shorts, standard Air Force socks, brace, shoes, pull hair back into tight bun with seven to eight hair ties and lots of hair spray and bobby pins, flashlight, and hat. As I walked onto the field, I found a spot and began to stretch. In the distance I saw one member of my flight approaching me…then another…and another…and another…until every member of Foxtrot including Lieutenant Schreifer was surrounding me.

“We came here to see you succeed, Prakash. We won’t let you down,” Lieutenant Wood said, smiling at me. I looked up and every one of them gave me reassuring looks and grins, Major Breen’s expression of glee making me smile. I was overwhelmed. I took a deep breath and stood there taking it in, realizing that this would be one of the most memorable and important teaching moments of my life. My flight members surrounded me as I did my sit-ups and push-ups and cheered when I made the mark and passed those sections. Then it came time for the big run.

“Prakash, we’re running with you,” said one of my flight members as he started to tighten his shoelaces. I was a bit confused but before I knew it, I was running on the track with my flight members behind me and several on the sides cheering me on. Each time I wanted to slow down I realized I couldn’t because my entire team was behind me. I kept hearing them shout words of encouragement the entire time and it propelled me forward, making me more determined than ever to not let them down and more importantly, to not let myself down. As I crossed the finish line with my family behind me, I saw the large timer: 14:00.

I frequently reflect on many key moments of my life—my first dance recital, induction into the Honor Society, Big Eric proposing to me and our wedding, the births of Little Eric and Ethan and a series of their firsts. I am able to describe my feelings in each scenario with clarity and grace. That moment when flight Foxtrot came to my rescue and renewed my faith in humanity, and myself, is one that lives on in my heart, locked in a place that is forever pure and filled with love, like the great spirits who made it possible.

Excerpted from: Learning to Listen: A Memoir by Vidhya Prakash, MD