How to Self-Promote — Without Sounding Self-Centered

Summary:

New research, based on a series of 11 studies, suggests that dual promotion — in which you compliment a colleague or peer while talking about your own accomplishments — can both boost perceptions of warmth without harming perceptions of competence.

Imagine meeting an important executive at a networking event. You’re keen to make a good impression. You have some recent accomplishments that you would really like to share, but you worry about coming across as a self-centered braggart. On the other hand, you don’t want to let this opportunity to share your accomplishments slip past you. What should you do?

Self-promotion often poses a dilemma: Talking about your accomplishments can make you appear more competent and capable, but it can also make you seem less warm, less friendly, and more selfish. In contrast, self-deprecation, deflecting credit, or sharing setbacks can make you seem more approachable, but they can make you seem less competent.

What can we do to create a great overall impression — projecting both competence and warmth?

In new research, we identify a simple but powerful answer: When you boast about your own accomplishments, compliment a colleague or peer at the same time. We term this strategy “dual-promotion” because it involves both self- and other-promotion. In our research, dual promotion consistently boosted overall impressions. Audiences learn about your abilities, and see you demonstrate concern for others. By talking positively about other people, you signal that you aren’t self-centered — you’re a well-intentioned, warm colleague.

To explore dual promotion, we conducted a series of eleven studies, using statements from a variety of contexts, including social media, work evaluations, and statements by U.S. Congressmembers. We showed participants either self-promoting or dual-promoting statements (and, in some studies, also statements that involved only other-promotion or no promotion at all), and asked them to evaluate the communicator’s warmth, competence, and overall impression. Here’s an example of dual-promotion from one of our studies:

This project was successful because of our teamwork. I took care of all the financial analysis, technical processes, and back-end design. Alex really impressed me with how he handled our client communications. We both took charge of what we do best, and it led to a great outcome.

Across our studies, which involved a total of 2,558 participants, we find that dual-promotion, compared to self-promotion alone, boosts perceptions of warmth without harming evaluations of a person’s competence. In fact, in some experiments, dual-promotion even boosted perceptions of competence! By describing others’ accomplishments and abilities in addition to describing your own, you can showcase the range of your own expertise—you have the ability and confidence to evaluate, promote, and associate with other accomplished people.

We also studied how politicians describe their achievements. We analyzed year-in-review statements published by members of Congress over a 10-year period and coded how much these politicians self-promote or dual-promote. Once again, we found that the more members of Congress complimented others as they boasted about their own achievements, the more positively they were evaluated. This was true across political parties. And when we conducted an experiment in which participants considered a hypothetical politician who either dual-promoted or self-promoted, participants reported that they would be more likely to vote for the dual-promoting politician more than 80% of the time.

People can derive the benefits of dual-promotion regardless of whether they share a compliment about a teammate or a rival, regardless of what the counterpart says (e.g., if they self-promote or dual-promote too), and regardless of whether they dual-promote in the workplace, on social media, or in the midst of a political campaign. In every context we studied, people who dual-promoted were evaluated the most positively.

If the benefits are so large, why don’t people dual-promote? For one, it’s counterintuitive. Promoting someone else might feel like it would diminish your own accomplishments or abilities by comparison. Our natural impulse is to self-promote or remain quiet, so developing a habit of dual-promotion will take effort.

To start dual-promoting, here are some practical steps:

1. Recognize the benefits of dual-promotion.

Promoting others helps you!

2. Practice dual-promotion.

You can do this by identifying someone else, thinking of their accomplishments, and then acknowledging their accomplishments or positive attributes when you talk with others.

When you are on a team, be sure to compliment your teammates. For instance, in promoting the rerelease of her album Speak Now, Taylor Swift highlighted her collaborators Hayley Williams and Fall Out Boy: “I decided to go to the artists who I feel influenced me most powerfully as a lyricist at that time [of the album’s original release] and ask them to sing on the album. They’re so cool and generous for agreeing to support my version of Speak Now.”

When you are in a competition, compliment your competitors. (Our favorite athletes do this after a game or match). For example, in a 2017 comeback victory, Roger Federer beat Kei Nishikori in five sets at the Australian Open. After the match, Federer remarked about Nishikori: “He played his heart out and it was a great match… he’s one of the best baseline players on the tour.” But Federer combined this other-promotion with self-promotion, by adding, “I was playing great… A huge win for me.”

When you are engaged in a more individual endeavor, for example, writing a novel, you can compliment a colleague in the field you admire. For example, you might post on social media: “My book just landed on the New York Times Bestseller list! What an honor to be alongside the brilliant work of [Author XYZ], who wrote what I think is the best book of the year.”

3. Keep other-promotion genuine.

You can do this by being specific. For example, a politician describing the work done in collaboration with others should name which colleagues they worked with, name the bills they passed together, and describe the impact of those laws. Details like this make both brags and compliments far more credible.

The other-promotion element (i.e., your compliment to someone else) can be short. Don’t overdo it or risk appearing inauthentic.

4. Make sure to still include self-promotion.

The goal is dual-promotion, so be sure to claim credit for your abilities and achievements. Without it, you fail to share meaningful information with your target audience, and you may fail to fully signal your competence. Other-promotion (or just complimenting someone else) is a fine strategy for making friends, but dual-promotion uniquely enhances evaluations of your warmth and competence.

Dual-promotion works for men and for women — an important dynamic given that prior research has found that women are less likely to self-promote than men, and that self-promotion is more likely to cause harm to women than to men. As a result, women may receive less credit for their accomplishments than men. By engaging in dual-promotion, we hope that women can close the self-promotion gap.

Though competence and warmth are often described as competing attributes, the people we like best are typically those we think of as both skilled and friendly. We can’t all be Tom Hanks, but with dual-promotion we can project both warmth and competence.

So the next time you’re bursting to share your accomplishments or qualifications, be bold and brag — just make sure to boast about someone else too.

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