Managing a Gossip

It seems so harmless. The friendly banter on Monday morning between your employees as they share weekend details about themselves and so-and-so. The debate over someone’s relationship with someone else. The speculation about a coworker or a patient. And even the accurate sharing of information about others with coworkers and patients who have no need to know it. Are these examples of harmless chitchat or of gossip? Is there a difference? And does it matter?

Chitchat, or informal conversation not tied to work tasks, can help people to feel more connected to one another. Your employees and patients may naturally want to share their personal experiences, interests, and ideas with one another to feel closer. They may also converse informally to break the ice, to demonstrate their trust, to put others at ease, to be liked, and even to initiate and foster friendships. Such value-neutral or positive conversation can help your employees and patients to build morale, to feel more rooted in and loyal to your healthcare organization, and, ultimately, to feel that they are valued members of a caring community. In short, chitchat is not harmful and may, in fact, be beneficial both for the individuals and for your organization. Thus, healthcare executives may want to accept a reasonable amount of positive employee chitchat if it doesn’t interfere with work tasks.

Gossip, on the other hand, is a remark or conversation that has negative and destructive consequences, or the potential to be negative and destructive. It may or may not be intentionally nasty and unkind. Nonetheless, gossip often is unkind, or at least insensitive, and it is most definitely dangerous and damaging.

Following is a 10-question test to determine if talk is gossip or not. Use it as a tool to help you assess the gossip potential of the talk in your office. Share this tool with your employees as part of their gossip training. A remark or conversation can be considered to be gossip if it:

1. Rejoices and takes pleasure in the misfortune of others.

2. Has a negative emotional charge.

3. Seems to perpetuate conflict and/or negativity.

4. Potentially hurts or damages the one or ones being spoken of.

5. Would not be said to the person, or in front of the person.

6. Is an unsubstantiated rumor about another person.

7. Excludes others by developing a culture of “us” and “them,” of those in the know and those not.

8. Pulls rank by giving speakers and listeners a false sense of moral superiority.

9. Ruins reputations.

10. Reveals personal information to others who have no need to know it.

FIFTEEN GOSSIP-CONTROL STRATEGIES

Gossip, like other negative human habits and behaviors, is not something you can simply tell people not to do and leave it at that. Your employees will need to understand what gossip is, why gossip is so alluring, and why they must take care not to spread it or be drawn into it by another person. This requires training. Therefore, you may want to make gossip a topic at an upcoming staff meeting, and revisit the topic again and again, especially as new employees join your team. It may help you to drive your lessons home if you are able to work with hypothetical gossip scenarios, or even if you revisit actual conversations that you have overheard in your office. Seizing and using teachable gossip moments can be very powerful, but only if you first create a trusting learning environment and do not assign harsh judgments to others.

Here are 15 gossip-control strategies that can help you to manage gossip in your healthcare organization:

1. Communicate regularly and consistently. Regular communication minimizes the influence of and need for gossip because everyone is “in-the-know.”

2. Discourage gossip in official policy. Include information about gossip in your employee handbook. Convey to your employees that such talk is injurious to morale and productivity and will not be tolerated. Require employees not to initiate gossip, not to participate in it, and not to tolerate it from others.

3. Nip problems in the bud. Be proactive. Tell the gossiping employee that you are aware of his or her behavior. Describe the potential negative impact of gossip and point to your personnel policy. Specifically state how the employee must change his or her behavior and by when (define immediately), and that there will be consequences if he doesn’t.

4. Establish employee-driven group discussions about gossiping. This can be an effective strategy in healthcare organizations where gossiping has run rampant. Encourage your employees to sit face to face and to hold each other mutually accountable for having a “gossip-free” workplace.

5. Do not engage in gossip yourself. Obviously, you must model the behavior you want and expect from your employees, or you will encourage the behavior you do not want and undermine your credibility.

6. Let your boss know. Have the courage to inform your supervisor if the gossip in your healthcare organization is growing and gaining followers. Management that supports a healthy work environment should address the issue in a way that reinforces and promotes a positive culture. Conversely, silence from above will allow a gossip-ridden negative culture to flourish, and even reinforce it.

7. Don’t stew. You have two choices if the gossip is about you. You can do nothing and let the gossip run its course. If you decide that you will do nothing, then truly let it go and do not harbor resentment.

8. Teach your employees to be empathetic to other employees’ situations. Remind your employees that they do not like to be publicly disciplined. Help them to empathize with an employee who screwed up and who knows that others are talking about it.

9. Address the perpetrators. Addressing the perpetrators will take some courage. Stand up to the lead gossip perpetrators in your healthcare organization and address them one-on-one in a neutral and private room or office so others cannot overhear. The point is not to put the employee through a pummel session, rather, it is to demonstrate tactfully and with specific examples how your employee’s behavior is affecting and disrupting work. Be prepared that the employee may deny having gossiped or that he or she may name others. These are likely tactics an employee will use when he feels defensive.

10. Encourage and model positive chitchat. You want your employees not to gossip, but you do not want to discourage value-neutral and positive conversation. Start morning huddles with positive chitchat, and reinforce the cultural values and key behaviors you want through storytelling.

11. Keep your private life private. Unless you have absolute certainty that you can trust a coworker, the rule of thumb is plain and simple: Do not trust personal information with anyone at work if it has the potential to become fodder for gossip. If you find a colleague gossiping about others, you can bet that they will be gossiping about you as well.

12. Say no and teach your employees to say no. Gossip needs an audience. Teach your employees what to do when others attempt to share gossip with them.

13. Deal with the issue not with the person. When you do confront an employee who has been gossiping, focus on the issue and behavior rather than on the person. For example, instead of saying, “You are insensitive for gossiping about me,” consider saying, “I am concerned about the gossiping, and I want it to stop.”

14. Warn, document, and fire. Of course, you will want to do everything you can to work with a gossiping employee. You can train and coach the person to improve; however, there may come a time when you have done that, when you have warned and documented a gossiping employee repeatedly, and when you have clearly stated in writing how and when the behavior must stop. If the gossip persists after all of your efforts, you are within your rights to fire the employee.

15. Be realistic about your expectations. The best thing you can do is to train your staff about gossip, establish policies, consistently implement them, and remain diligent. You will not completely eliminate gossip, but you can and should manage it.

HOW EMPLOYEES CAN GET OUT OF THE GOSSIP PIPELINE

Some employees will listen to gossip simply because they don’t want to be rude to the person speaking to them, but the very act of listening supports and promotes gossiping. Here are some tips:

• Be busy. Gossipmongers want attention. If you’re preoccupied with your work, you can’t be available to listen to a gossip’s latest story.

• Don’t participate. Walk away from the story. Don’t give visual clues that you are interested in listening. If someone passes a juicy story on to you, don’t pass it any further.

• Turn it around by saying something positive. It isn’t nearly as much fun to spread negative news if it’s spoiled by a complimentary phrase about the person being attacked.

• Avoid the gossiper. Have you noticed one person who consistently gossips? If so, take the necessary actions to have as little unnecessary interaction with that person as possible.

• Don’t share secrets. Remember, don’t give coworkers ammunition.

• Choose your friends wisely. You .spend a good deal of time at work so it’s natural to develop friendships. Share information sparingly or at least until you are sure that you have built up a level of trust. Surround yourself with work friends who don’t gossip.

• Be direct. Confront the gossiper and confidently tell him that such behavior is making it uncomfortable for you and other coworkers. That’s likely to make the gossip stop.

• Don’t be afraid to go to your manager. Gossiping wastes a lot of your healthcare organization’s time, and it hurts morale. An organization that is interested in a healthy work environment for everyone will value the opportunity to correct this type of problem.

Excerpted from The Problem Employee: How to Manage the Employees No One Wants to Manage by Laura Hills, DA.